Good Weekend

Hey y'all,

Wow, that was country...Anyway! How are you guys? You guys been chill since I last wrote? I hope so...Yeah, I guess I've been pretty good too. This weekend was pretty satisfactory. Had a good turnout for the BLAGOSAH meeting on Friday, studied hard for my Black Diaspora test (and nailed most of the questions), and spent the entire weekend with my babycakes. Can't get much better than that, eh? Today was a good day because all we did was eat pizza, sleep, and watch t.v./movies. We reminisced on our first kiss, the first time we saw each other (after 4 months), etc. Had a lot of laughs, a few tears (happy tears, I may add). She makes me happy...sooooo damn happy. And its not complicated happiness. Its the simple things that she does. Let me give you all some examples:

1. She got up from her bed at 11 something in the morning, came to Thirkield (the building where my Black Diaspora class is held) and helped me study for my test.

2. She pays for everything food-related.

3. She's paying for me to go to New York this upcoming weekend...WOWZA!

And all she wants in return is my love: hugs, kisses, etc. Tell me she's not the best girlfriend ever?! *sigh*

I feel like I owe her...but funds are really slim right now and I can't do that. It makes me feel so bad, y'all don't understand. But I guess if my love is enough to compensate, then there's nothing else for me to complain about...

All I want to do is provide for her, and have her give ME the love (that I still feel like I don't deserve). Damn economy, and damn school life...argh. Yeah, sure, I could get a job; but that would mean spending more time away from her and more sleep in my bed (as if I wasn't exhausted enough). I can't do that to her, or myself. We already spend enough time apart from each other as is (due to visitation rules and other annoyances). I don't think my heart, or hers, could take spending any more time apart...its too rough. Maybe I'll get a job after Christmas or something, once we really get settled with each other. Gosh, I feel like the husband that has to take a 2nd job to make ends meet...you know, the ones that you see in the movies? Leaving his wife and kids at home? *sigh*

Maybe I'm overreacting, or over-thinking this. Its just that this entire situation is so much more than what I'm used to. So different that what I'm used to. I'm so out of my comfort zone with her. But at the same time, she's placed me in this entirely new zone that I'm starting to get comfortable with....er, at least, I'm more comfortable with her than her generosity. I dunno...I guess I should just suck it up like she tells me to and just accept it and move on. She's not changing for the duration (that sounds bad, doesn't it?) of our relationship, she says. *screams into pillow*

Okay, I think I'll stop here for the night...All this overreacting and over-thinking has my head hurting.

Chuck the Deuces,

Lauren

Quote of the Day: "After everything I've learned, now it's finally my turn. This is the last time I'll fall in love." - Eric Benet